It must not be the shoes

The greatest basketball player of all time, Michael Jordan, a.k.a. "Air Jordan", a.k.a. "His Airness", did a commercial for Nike Shoes in which he performed a dazzling array of dunks and then simply held up a pair of his nifty basketball shoes, announcing: "It must be the shoes". Well, I just bought and 'test drove' my first pair of zapatos de tango. I must say, they look even more impressive than Mr. Jordan's Nikies. 

This is not to say that the shoes did not pay some immediate dividends, both to myself and those around me.  There seemed to be a decrease in the average number of times the phrases "F***, You stepped on my foot!" or "That was my shin" were heard in the general vicinity in which I was performing.  

I would politely inquire,"Did it hurt?  Their response was still, "No", meaning "Yes!  Are you an idiot?";  or silence, meaning, "I'm in too much pain to curse at you right now.  I'll do it later.  And, if you do it again, I'll 'accidentally' step on you with my heel.  Then, we'll see who shrieks like a girl.  Capisce?"