Is the phrase "Happy Occasion" a euphemism for a sad occasion? Happy occassions like birthdays, anniversaries, weddings make me sad.  The sadness of these happy occasions seems to increase when that phrase is adorned by another.  I proceed cautiously when I hear "what a happy occasion" or that something is "such a happy occasion", as then I tend to be sadder than on mere happy occasions.  If a question was formulated...if someone says,"Wasn't this a happy occassion?", or "This was a happy occasion, wasn't it?"  It wasn't.

In Search of No World View

I find when I stop to look that there are far too many theories - representations of the world - floating around in my mind. They represent the world to me. But, representations are not the world; they are only representations of the world. And, so they make me not see what is there...they add things to what could nakedly be in front of my face. She is no longer naked, but clothed...and I cannot see her, for better or worse, in her nakedness.

Instead of them (facts of how the world must be), I seek within my intuitions and truths which are more truthful than any facts or theories of how the world 'must be'.

W. once said something like - we should see things as they are, not as they must be. Theories tell us how things must be, blinding us from seeing things as they are.

Newton told the world how the world must be. Einstein alone was able to overthrow Newton because he saw things as they are, not as they must be.

In zen there is a koan..."What is your original face before you were born"....throwing out theories of how things must be, seeing them as they are. ...So, I apologize as with each word I write I mis-direct you from seeing what is in front of you...to my false theories on this page.

535

... is the amount of dollars, U.S. (U.S. dollars convert to about 1 piece of shit each...but, added together you can buy things) that I won in the only poker tournament that I ever won; and the 5th one I ever entered. It cost $17 to enter.

Sometimes, we get just 1 chance to do something right that is significant. But, being perfectly ready for that 1 chance does not take place at the moment of the big moment - but long before. In many cases the seeds of victory or defeat are planted years before.
A boxer goes into the ring having trained well, or not so well. He has been training for 1 year, or perhaps 10 years. Maybe even long before he began 'training' his life prepared him well to potentially become a great fighter?
Once in the ring there is no place to hide or feign greatness. He must fight and his mistakes are seen by all and painfully felt by himself.
If he wins he was ready and able...at least for that opponent. The losing fighter is made to taste the reality that he was not ready or able (at that point, mere willing is not sufficient for winning) - not for that opponent. Maybe he was not yet good enough. Maybe, he never will be good enough no matter how hard he tries (some lack aptitude for some things); or, maybe he could become better than his opponent someday.
The winning fighter's confidence and sense of worth are increased by that win, as they should be. But, what if he had just never fought very good oponents? He has beaten everybody in his village, but then loses to the first 10 fighters he fights in Philadelphia. Then, his sense of worth - insofar as it came from being a great fighter - was, perhaps, higher than it should have been.
A pretty good fighter may have never lost, whereas a much better fighter will likely have lost a lot...against better competition. He became better because of an aptitude for winning and, as importantly, an aptitude for handling defeat. Some would-be great fighters lose a fight and stop fighting...and, then they are never to become great fighters...since, they are no longer fighters! What makes a man continue to fight? Can we at least say it is a belief that he can eventually win?